What If Rupert Murdoch’s Empire Were Hacking All The Way Down?

Rupert Murdoch owns a lot. That sentence doesn’t even need an indirect object. He simply owns a lot. Of newspapers, of movie studios, of television networks, of television programs, of websites, of magazines, of record labels. He even owns fifty percent of Australia’s National Rugby League. Chances are that of the thousands of pieces of content you interact with everyday, a good third to one-half of them link back to him in some sort of gold-plated game of Six Degrees of Rupert Murdoch.

He now owns one hell of a scandal. Murdoch’s News Corporation is the parent company of News International, which published the British tabloid News of the World. It’s recently come to light that News of the World engaged in phone hacking to illegally obtain information. Earlier this month, British prime minister David Cameron called for a massive government inquiry into the affair, hoping to address claims of hacking and police bribery.

High-ranking British police officials are stepping down. Members of Murdoch’s empire are being arrested. The United States is now getting involved: the FBI just began investigating whether or not News Corp’s violated the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act with the alleged hacking and bribery. Oh yeah, and they might have accessed the voicemails of victims of the 9/11 attacks and the 7/7 London bombings.

Rather than wade into this quagmire and attempt to report on it (there’s plenty of that going on already), I’d like to speculate on what the world would be like if such underhanded behavior pervaded the furthest reaches of Murdoch’s empire. Cue the dream sequence music.

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A Fourth of Fireworks

I hope you had a delightful Fourth of July.

If it was a good one, I bet you didn’t have to work. Perhaps you caught up on some sleep. Cooked a real breakfast for once. Who has time to cook bacon and sausage and then cook your scrambled eggs in the pan still glittering with bacon-sausage residue? On the Fourth of July, you do.

Maybe you watched some television that you’d never allot time for: Law & Order reruns, History Channel specials on how states were formed, that new buddy-lawyer show starring Zach Morris and a short guy, a sporting event. Crazy contract fights have left baseball and hockey as the only popular American sports not locked out – and they don’t play hockey in this heat. Oh, the Women’s World Cup, you say? Yeah. Have fun with that.

By about mid-afternoon you were likely planning for a get-together. You were throwing one, your friend was throwing one – it doesn’t matter. You found a shirt that looks good and won’t make you sweat too much. Picked up the beer/soda/BBQ chicken/deep-fried-whatever. Grilled, tossed the old pigskin, and socialized in ways not afforded by office cubes or retail counters or telephone lines.

Then night started to fall. Lazily, as summer nights tend to do. What better way to cap off the day than with some fireworks?

[Author’s Note: There’s an outside chance your Fourth of July was not this delightful – you had to work, you hate freedom, or you aren’t from the United States and couldn’t care less. You can still hit the jump and read about fireworks. Just pretend you had a patriotic day filled with safe drinking, relaxation, and brightly colored explosions.]

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Modern Day Theme Parks: Where's the Character and the Class?

When I saw J.J. Abrams's Super 8 on Friday, I was excited to see the Amblin Entertainment logo in front of the credits. I'm sure you know the image of Steven Spielberg's production company (or would know it if you saw it - picture provided after the jump): it's the silhouette of that lovable little alien, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, riding in the basket of Elliot's bicycle as they fly in front of the moon. I was never all that attached to the movie itself, but a Spielberg production is always deemed exciting and relevant by the entertainment industry. Plus, it seemed extra relevant for me, because I had plans to visit Universal Studios: Hollywood - where the offices of Amblin are located - the very next day!

But my excitement was quickly replaced by a pang of nostalgic despair. Amblin's offices and the odd souvenir doll are now all that remains of the E.T. tradition at Universal, as the former dark ride bearing its name, E.T. Aventure, shuttered in 2003 to make way for Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride. Wow, talk about backing the wrong franchise. That would be like if Disneyland replaced Star Tours with Avatar: Pandora's Pride. (In fact, Star Tours was just given a recent 3D update, so the comparisons to Avatar are not that far off.)

E.T. Adventure was not an amazing ride, by any means. It didn't have breathtaking visuals or gut-wrenching drops and turns. But it did have character (such as when your multi-person bicycle turns into a spaceship to take you to E.T.'s home planet) and class (such as when an animatronic E.T. personally says goodbye to each and every person on the ride before you disembark). However, progress is progress, and I suppose it's the natural order of things for class and character to gradually give way to thrills and chills. And it's my feeling that the changing layout of the Universal Studios theme park - as well as the evolving slate of Universal's films - reflects that.

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I Climbed The Holy Mountain And All I Got Was This Stupid Blog Post

Growing up I had a friend, let's call him "Max Y." No, too obvious: "M. Yue". M. Yue and I formed what could probably only be described as some sort of buddy comedy, Odd Couple set up: I was the button-down, mild-mannered, all-American good kid and he the wild child, the guy who listened to punk rock and went to Perkins at midnight on weekdays. The kid who got himself and his friends into trouble but never Got In Trouble.

Besides the time I almost got into a fight with a guy at a college hockey game, M. Yue was probably responsible for introducing me to most of the cool things I've ever experienced. It was he who put Kyuss on a mixtape for me (probably the most romantic thing another human being has ever done for me), it was at his house that I first saw Akira. So basically, I take M. Yue's recommendations pretty highly.

He was also the one who forced me to watch Cannibal Holocaust.

This Memorial Day weekend, M. Yue was back in town on leave from the Army, and he asked me, nay he challenged me to watch a film in anticipation of his return. His challenge? The first class mindfuck that is Alejandro Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain.

Seriously, watch the trailer.

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A Decade of Dreck #52: Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie

Charge Shot!!! is celebrating the end of the decade in the most masochistic way we know how - by watching and writing about the 100 worst movies of the last ten years as defined by film review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes. Click here to see RT's complete list, click here for more information about the Decade of Dreck project, and click here to see all of the movies we've done so far.

I played trading card games in the younger days. Kid Boivin can confess to an out-and-out mastery of Magic: The Gathering, the Star Wars CCG, and Pokémon. Going along with these three games was what I suppose separated them from the standard card games of Poker, Blackjack, and the like: a story. Magic had it's players play the role of dueling wizards ("planeswalkers") and had it's post-Tolkien fantasy story played out through the art and "flavor text" of the cards; each expansion set was an advancement of the story with an accompanying novel, many of which I read. Star Wars and Pokémon of course were both based on pre-existing properties, allowing players to re-enact the events of their favorite stories how they saw fit ("I'm going to train Lando as a Jedi...a dark Jedi!").

I, of course, loved Star Wars to death and watched a whole lot of the Pokémon cartoon as well. So basically, I'm well versed in the sometimes goofy realm of the kids' card game cash-in. I was, however, not prepared for Yu-Gi-Oh!.

My brothers watched Yu-Gi-Oh! after I had outgrown the card game fad and when I was probably older than the anime's target audience so my memories of it consist of the weekly bellows of "BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!" emanating from my living room on Saturday mornings. I was expecting a simple tween-centered movie for the show's cinematic debut; I have nostalgia for Pokémon after all, maybe this would register with me in a way it didn't connect with the critics.

Wrong. So very, very wrong.

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Saturday Morning TV: Social Security…in SPACE

I can’t believe our government spent money on this.

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Sunday Reading: Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

It may be one of the biggest Hallmark holidays of the year – one that surely has its creator “spinning her grave” – but that shouldn’t stop you from taking the time to celebrate one’s mom.

For you nerds who need convincing that moms are great, Wired’s GeekDad blog is ringing in this maternal Sunday with the “Top Ten Mothers in Science-Fiction and Fantasy.” Everything from Dune to the Battlestar reimagining is represented. It’s not a bad list, though I’m pretty sure Queen Amidala (Luke Skywalker’s mom) is a better mom in concept than in actual film history (see: this).

If you need any further guidance as to what you should do today, I refer you to the foremost expert on mom treatment.

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Saturday Morning TV: Nobody Likes the Easter Bunny

I’d be scared of him too if he started creeping around my house.

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Saturday Morning TV: Bunny Face Massage

This rabbit loves massage. No, not that Rabbit.

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Charlie Sheen: Vatican Assassin Warlock

Two nights ago, we saw a lavish celebration of the best and brightest movies from 2010. Stars were interviewed on the Red Carpet, badly timed jokes were cracked by the ceremony's younger-skewing hosts, the network's five second tape delay came in handy during Melissa Leo's Best Supporting Actress acceptance speech, and gold statuettes were handed out to some of Hollywood's most deserving artists/entertainers. But one significant figure in the entertainment industry was nowhere to be found during the proceedings: Charlie Sheen.

Despite his absence (court-ordered or otherwise), Sheen's presence could be felt in two instances throughout the night: once when a drag-clad James Franco cracked a passing joke, and once when a promo for Sheen's upcoming interviews with Good Morning America and 20/20 aired during the telecast. Gee, given his recent epic BIFF on a radio interview with Alex Jones - leading directly into the announcement that Two and a Half Men is no longer a viable television program - you'd think he would stay away from public exposure for a while. But prudence was clearly never the Sheen way...

Selections from said epic BIFF can be found in this article - I wanted to give it its own paragraph, lets it get lost in the shuffle. You can find the full audio here. It really is some pretty amazing stuff. I don't know where he found the inspiration for such powerful vitriolic rants (my first guess would be the drugs he was taking, and my second guess would be a reaction from quitting said drugs cold turkey), but I think he could be on to something, both in style and in substance.

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2010 Year in Review - A Few More Random Musings from the Internet

In honor of 2010, and of course in deference to the excellent job my fellow Charge Shot!!! writers did summing up the year (and decade) I wanted to throw out a few random stories that have stuck with me over the last year. Fair Warning: These are frivolous and probably won't offer anything useful in your daily life, other than the visceral enjoyment of reading about them (not to mention the pleasure of reading my expert and enlightening analysis...).

Firstly, a recent Pew Internet research report asked why the rich are so good at the internet. Check it out. At the very least, memorizing a few of the stats might be good for a cocktail party or something.

This next bit is something that I file under the "completely random and not relevant at all" description, nevertheless I write about it...There is something about this product that has stuck in my mind. Something about the simplicity, genius and even strangeness that has caused part of me to fixate on the idea.  Really, I can't believe that nobody has thought of making this meltable (and re-meltable) wax tableware before.

Lastly, check out http://www.faceblind.org/. Other than my psych 101 class freshman year of college, I don't think I had ever heard mention of the not un-common condition - wherein a person has distinct difficulty remembering faces - discussed in daily life (I'm surprised I actually remembered it from college,  I guess I went to class that day). Over the last several months, I've read three articles and heard at least two radio segments about it (somebody's PR council is doing their job!).

The above link will take you to a site that presents all kinds of information about the condition in addition to a free web based test (which takes about 30 minutes) that will determine where you are on the face blind spectrum.  I took it...as it happens I'm just plain-old average (so boring).  

Well, I think that's it from my coffer of stories from 2010.  Now on to 2011! Happy New Year readers, I wish all good fortune in the coming year!

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